I woke up one morning to a message from an ex-girlfriend. She said, “Hey Alex, long time. How have you been?”
This is a girl who broke up with me four years ago. We dated for a year and a half but somewhere along the line, I got involved with someone else and she found out. It was my fault. I pleaded for forgiveness. She said no. I said I will be a better man going forward. She said I’ve broken her trust. I said I will work hard to get it back. She said trust once broken can never be regained. She walked out of the relationship.
I pleaded for days. I knew losing her will hurt. In fact, it was already hurting me. I said all there is to say but her mind was already made up. She didn’t return to the relationship. She stopped picking my calls. She stopped answering my text. I was in her DM every day but none of my messages got answered. I tried but when I was not getting a result, I gave up and moved on with my life.
So that morning when I woke up to her messages, I was surprised. Two things came to mind. One, she was sending the message to someone else and she mistakenly sent it to me. Two, Maybe she was in distress and needed my help. I responded, “Hey Phyllis. I’ve been good. Yeah, it’s been so long. Four years. I hope you’re doing good too?” She responded, “God is great so I’ve been great.” After the pleasantries, I was waiting for the main reason why she texted. She said, “Nothing really. You came to mind and I decided to check up on you.”
I was pleasantly surprised. I asked, “I came to mind? How?” She said, “I remembered you and decided to say hi. Nothing really.” I asked, “What made you remember me? What were you thinking?” She said, “Old stuff. Wandering thoughts got me to you. I was thinking about all the people who hurt me. You were on top of the list. You didn’t tell me why you did what you did. So tell me. Why did you cheat on me with that girl? Was I not enough for you? What did you see in her that I didn’t have?”
She was playing with the scab of four years’ wounds. I knew what was going to happen. Talking about it again will remove the scab, then we’ll bleed again. I wasn’t ready to go that way so I said, “Phyllis, it’s been four years already. Let’s give it a rest. I know you’ve moved on. I know you’ve gone ahead to live a better life. I know you’ve met better people and they’ve made your life happy. Don’t let us go back to things that hurt us. I’m happy that you contacted me after all these years. Let’s not go into that area but instead let’s talk about what makes us happy.”
We had a very long conversation that day. She said she had met guys and had dated guys but none of them worked. I said the same too. She told me how her last relationship ended. She said, “He cheated. The sad thing is, you didn’t get a second chance but I gave him a second chance thinking he will redeem his image but he went ahead and did worse things. One day I left the relationship without telling him. By the time he came back to his senses, I was long gone.” Then she asked me, “Why are you men like that?” I said, “I can’t answer for all men but I know people make mistakes.”
For a whole week, we were talking. We were laughing a lot, remembering the good times and blacking out the bad times. I said, “When can we meet? It’s been a long time.” She said, “You know I’m no longer living in Accra right? So I don’t know how. Unless one of us travels to the other. If you’re ready to do that, then I don’t have a problem. I will see you.” I said, “I’m ever ready. Just tell me when you’re free and want to see me. I will come running.” She said, “I’m free on weekends. Whenever you want to come, come on weekends.”
Days later she called. She said, “It looks like you’re getting lucky. I have to come to Accra this weekend to deliver something. If you have the time, I can see you.” I screamed, “I have the time. We can meet.” She called on Friday. She said, “I’m in. What are your plans?” I said, “I’ll see you in the evening, sit somewhere, talk, and have fun.” She said, “It’s a returning journey ooo. I will be done in an hour’s time, and start thinking of going back.” I asked her not to go. I pushed my luck so far until I got her to agree to spend the weekend with me. I saw her in the evening. She slept at my place. We talked about the old days, made love throughout the weekend, talked about what could have been if we stayed together after the incident. The old flames got rekindled. I said I miss her. She said she missed me too. I said, “Let’s get back together again.” She said, “I’ll think of it.” I said, “You don’t need to think hard about this. Just say yes.” She said, “We don’t need to rush it. What will be will be.”
On Sunday morning, I took her to the bus station. We said our final goodbyes when the bus moved. I felt lighter. I was missing her but then, I was also happy that we were coming back together again. Yes, she said she was going to think about it but I knew the answer. I knew she’ll call and tell me that yes, she wants us to be together.
When she got home she called to tell me that she has arrived. In the evening, I sent her a text asking what she was doing. She didn’t respond. I called twice, she didn’t pick. The next day I was expecting her call. She didn’t call. She didn’t text. I called she didn’t pick. I sent her a text again and she didn’t respond. “Or she needs some space?” I asked myself. One whole week I kept trying her number. Even when I called with someone else’s line, she didn’t pick. My mind was running wild. I thought about all of the possibilities and what might have gone wrong. I wasn’t getting anywhere with answers.
I relaxed for days, waiting for her to call again. One Saturday evening, before going to bed I went to Whatsapp and saw a message from an old friend of ours. She said, “You didn’t marry us. See us now?” The message came with a photo of a wedded couple. I asked, “Who got married?” She said, ” Can’t you see? Look at the lady very well. Who do you see?” I screamed, “Phyllis?” She said, “Exactly”
I stopped chatting. All of a sudden I was shaking. “But how’s that possible? Was it not a week ago that I was with this girl?” I called her line again, it didn’t go through. I asked my friend, “When did this happen?” She said, “Oh just today. Fresh from the oven.” I was so shocked words eluded me. I thought I was dreaming. “If she was getting married, then why did she do all those things with me? Why did she create the impression that I had a chance with her?” I couldn’t believe my heart was breaking for her. It got worse when I didn’t get her to answer my questions.
It took me three weeks to get her to talk to me. She said, “I found out that he cheated. It was only a month before our wedding but he was out there sleeping with someone he told me he had nothing to do with. Calling off the wedding wasn’t an option so I decided to do something that will equally hurt him when he finds out.” I asked, “Do you really care about this marriage?” She said, “I care about it that’s why I got married but I don’t care about his feelings just as he didn’t care about mine.” I said, “This marriage won’t survive a year.” She said, “Are you cursing us?” I said, “I’m not but he’ll find out one day and leave you.” She said, “That will be his loss.”
I’m still here brooding over my own loss because I thought I’d found her again and I was ready to make things work.